i usually don't mind being alone. in fact, there are times when that's all i want. occasionally, i get quite introverted and i definitely need some time with myself. being repeatedly alone, however, is dreary. no one to laugh with. no one to comfort me. no one to care. alas, i know that my chances of meeting an exceptional guy are about as good as my chances of winning the lottery. how depressing is that?! quite often i think about how i don't really seem to fit in anywhere. this can only reduce my chances of finding mr. wonderful, if he's even out there. grumble, whimper, complain, sob. people tell me to not be such a pessimist, but i think it's beneficial. if things turn out good - i'm pleasantly surprised. if they turn out bad - i expected it anyway, so i'm not all that upset.
i don't know why i'm still awake. the sun is coming up. i don't think it's actually all that cold outside, but i'm chilly. i think i'll go snuggle with my cats. yes, that sounds exquisite.
there are places i'll remember,
all my life though some have changed.
some forever not for better,
some have gone and some remain.
all these places have their moments,
with lovers and friends i still can recall.
some are dead and some are living,
in my life i've loved them all.
but of all these friends and lovers,
there is no one compares with you,
and these memories lose their meaning,
when i think of love as something new.
though i know i'll never lose affection,
for people and things that went before.
i know i'll often stop and think about them,
in my life i love you more.
thanks, john.