it's been a while. the past couple of weeks have been rough. they've now diagnosed me as a gestational diabetic, which is making me nervous. i also have a lot of skepticism about the whole thing, so there's that. i've already signed up for some class next week, so at this point i'm just trying to deal with it and trudge along.
on top of that, the poohead is seriously ill.
... morewhen we went to the vet two weekends ago, he'd lost another 3 lbs. with a trip to the emergency vet clinic last night, we found out he's lost another pound. his liver is failing and the prognosis isn't good. they suggested having him stay overnight in the pet hospital last night to the tune of $600. then they said we should we go back to our regular vet, have him refer us off to an internal medicine specialist vet, and told us we'd then probably be looking at more hospitalization & other crap & thousands of dollars for all the treatment. and even with all of that, the prognosis isn't much better. i don't see much point in spending that kind of money and putting him through all that trauma if the chances of it helping aren't even that great. rob & i talked last night and i'm afraid we're going to have to let him go soon. rob asked me if i was ready to do that, and i told him that honestly i don't think i could ever sit there and say "yeah, i'm ready to let him go." i don't want to, but i certainly don't want to prolong his suffering as that wouldn't make any of us feel any better. not me, not rob, not the poohead. you know, if they had said "do all this crap, and unfortunately it's going to cost a ton of money and it's going to suck for a while, but the chances are very good that he'll be just fine" things would be so different. rob wants me to call our vet today and talk to him. i think we need to hear it from our vet and not some vet we just met 15 minutes prior.
dear god i am so not ready to let my cat go, but it's killing me already to see him so obviously not feeling well and the only thing i want to do for him is make what time he does have left as peaceful for him as i can. the only good thing they told us last night was that they really don't think he's in pain so much as he's probably just very weak & feeling like crud in general. i've got to muster up the composure (and courage) to call our vet. i'm in one of those "i can't do it" modes. i don't think i've cried as much in the past year as i have in the past two or three days.