i swear i'm going to break all these windows machines before it's all over.

ok. i feel the need to write another entry. of course this is only due to cider & beer, but that's how it goes.

bugger. this layout looks like crap on rob's machine. am i going to fix it? no, because i don't care that windows sucks. poowah.

what does this (presumably) naked woman have to do with your personal horoscope? and why do you have to click on her ass to get it?

i can't do it anymore.

i've had enough.

...

i'm just editing this to say that what i can't do anymore and what i've had enough of are related to my familial units and not dland or this diary. thanks for your time.

i don't have much to say about the oscars. unfortunately i'd seen very few of the nominees this year, so it wasn't like i was rooting for any particular film, director, actor, actress, etc. - that's probably why i fell asleep before the show was even over. i missed all the big awards and just found out who won this morning. i didn't see monster's ball and i don't want to take away from halle berry's moment, but i have to say this: "It is for every nameless, faceless woman of colour that now has a chance because this door tonight has been opened." she forgot to mention that it helps if you look like halle berry. honestly, that has very little to do with ms. berry herself, and much more to do with my own issues with hollywood.

What day are you?

Which Colossal Death Robot Are You?

she put highlights and lowlights in my hair, so for a while there i looked like the queen of aluminum foil. ok - just now when i was searching for a picture of how ridiculous one looks with foil wraps on their head, i ran across this. heh. anyway, i did find a suitable picture:

this is just silliness.

random movie quote:

"look, it's a school of whales."
"they look a little bit old for school."
"university then."
"university of whales."
"they look like dropouts to me."

the counter piece of the kitchen furniture that i bought forever ago is finally assembled. it was quite a job. actually, the only part that really sucked was attaching the top. it's solid birch and the thing is like 26" x 58" - so it's freaking heavy for one thing. there's eight screws that attach it to the base. there aren't any pre-drilled holes for these screws, though, like there seems to be with everything else from ikea. what's the story on that? that so sucks. and it gets even worse - you have to use a little tiny screwdriver on them because the wood that holds the drawers in place prohibits you from using a normal one. i was cruising along with the power screwdriver up until that point. i was working on it a couple of days ago and rubbed a blister on my palm, so i took yesterday off to give my hand a break. i finished today and my palm is all hurting again. i tried wearing these work gloves that my mom has, but they didn't prevent me from getting a blister. the two cabinets are assembled as much as they can be for now. really all that's left is attaching the doors, and you're supposed to do that after they're attached to the wall. on the first page of the instructions, it has some assembly tips. translated to english, one of them reads "it is advisory to be two people during assembly." huh?! the ikea translators need to lay off the crack.

i sometimes wish i could live in an ikea store. i know that some people think it's crap, but bollocks to you, i say! ok, i can sympathize with the chair problem. i also bought a chair from ikea that was crap. actually, i think he and i must have bought the same chair, because mine did that whole knock you downwards thing, too. rob and i called it the ejector seat. i have bought tons of other stuff from ikea, though, that hasn't been crap. some of my stuff that got flooded is still in good shape. i tossed my two chest of drawer units because the particle board soaked up a lot of the flood water so they were just ugly and nasty. my cd storage thing is fine, though. you can tell it got wet if you look at the back, but the front is fine and it's just as sturdy as it ever was. the back of the thing is always against a wall, anyway, so there you have it. problem solved. maybe i just have better ikea luck than andrew.

of course you can buy better furniture, but most likely not without spending a lot more money. ikea stuff is almost always in my price range. so until i win the lottery or something and can afford to buy furniture from herman miller, knoll, blu dot, minotti, mitchell gold, b&b italia, modernica, ligne roset, etc., i'll stick with ikea. more realistically, i like some of the things at both storehouse and crate & barrel, but they're still too pricey for me right now.

...

yikes.

...

remember that old (shampoo?) commercial where the girl told two friends about it, and then they told two friends, and so on, and so on, and so on? well, you should take that idea and apply it to this quiz.

...

*Take The Gap Toothed Celebrity Test!*

(of course i'm david letterman. who else would i be?!)

I'm the badass burgundy patent Doc Marten...
I'm cool as hell, I'm deep,
and maybe a little dark

Which Doc Marten are you?
(by *coffeebean*)

Darth Vader Tall, powerful, and the darkest of the dark. You've got armies, fleets, and the dark side of the Force wrapped around your little finger, but you still have a soft spot for that little wuss you call "son." How sweet. Take the Imperial Test at Bucketheads!

...

i think i might write an actual entry later today. we'll see.

...

p.s. have you taken this quiz yet? really, you must. you should also place a link to it from somewhere. forward it to all of your friends, too. it's the right thing to do.

last week or whenever that was that rob was here & he helped me find an sftp client, he was freaked out about my having so much crap all over my desktop. "it's so unlike you! actually, i kind of like it." it is unlike me. i'm horrible about creating ten million folders with stupid names, but it's like there's order in my chaos. you know, i'm one of those people - it's a mess, but i know where stuff is. normally, though, i keep my desktop pretty free of clutter. nothing stays there very long. i either do what i'm gonna do with it and trash it, or i end up storing it on a drive somewhere so i can find it later. right now i must have at least 15 folders on the desktop along with a ton of loose files. i mean, crap is everywhere. it's ridiculous.

so i got to thinking about this, though, and now it sort of makes sense. ever since last summer (read: the frigging flood), i've been pretty much living out of boxes. for the most part i did a pretty organized packing job, so stuff that belongs together was packed together. i had no idea what was in each box, though, so whenever i wanted something, i'd have to go digging through box after box until i found the right one. i'm pretty sure that living like this would normally drive me insane, but i haven't really had much choice in the matter. i had to live like this, so i suppose i just learned to manage. somehow that's transferred to the way i use my computer as well. my desktop has become a symbol of my current state of being - completely disorganized.

random movie quote:

"heineken?! fuck that shit! pabst! blue! ribbon!"

...

please, for maria's sake, go take this quiz. already taken it? take it again! it's fun! yay quizzes!

Take the What Will Your Result To This Quiz Be? Quiz
by napoleonherself, if you are so inclined.

. It has to be YOUR way. But when it isn't, you panic, but hold your ground. You keep your gun pointed and trigger finger ready, but you'd never really hurt anyone. Though you like being tough, feeling control, you often enjoy blending in and being part of the ordinary human race. Take the What Pulp Fiction Character Are You? quiz.

i was feeling like total crap for two days straight. it felt like i was trying to get the flu. i had sort of a head cold going on, i was achy, my stomach was upset - all that good stuff. i also had nightmares both nights, and i was crying a lot. crying about anything & everything. after "what the hell is wrong with me?!" went through my head several times, it dawned on me that i'd neglected to take my stupid effexor both days. sheesh. i'm not sure about the nightmares, but all those other things seem to be pretty common side effects of quitting effexor xr cold turkey. the stupidest thing is that i didn't even mean to quit - i just forgot to take the damn pills. it's kind of scary, though, that it freaked my body & my brain out so much, so quickly. i don't like that.

so for me to say that my state of mind hasn't really improved much over last week is probably needless. not yet, anyway. now that i'm back to taking my drugs, i'm hoping that things will get back to 'normal'. normal isn't great, but it's as sure as hell better than this.

it's dark. it's distressing. it's deplorable. lots of other d-words, too, but i'll just give up now.

...

p.s.

I love you man. You are probably the drink with the most fan clubs ever. A lot of people depend on you and your caffeine content to keep them up all night. Others are just addicted. Find your inner cola.

i found that one via dave. i would have been confused if i wasn't mountain dew, considering how horribly addicted i am to the stuff.

i didn't feel like writing anything of substance, anyway, so thanks to dave for pointing me in the direction of this quiz which revealed which letter i'm most like:

So which letter of the alphabet matches YOUR personality, huh?

that's pretty accurate, i think. then i found a bunch more thanks to my queen of quizzes. it's brilliant that the poet quiz tells you "If you see more than one poet listed below that is because you displayed an equivalent amount of traits of more than one poet. Just pick your favorite one to show the world or list them all!" how remarkable to be informed that i display an equivalent amount of traits of these two:

You are Sylvia Plath
No matter how much you struggle, you can't manage to shake off depression. You use symbolism to express yourself and have a knack for getting the most out of gas ovens.

Take the Which Poet are You? Quiz - brought to you out of boredom and pretention!

You are e.e. cummings
Your use of the English language is not bound to any grammatical or even logical standards. You live your life with rhythym and passion and find yourself constantly searching for meaning by traveling or in new relationships.

Take the Which Poet are You? Quiz - brought to you out of boredom and pretention!

and then this one made me laugh:

Which Musketeer Are You?

i swear i've taken this quiz before, but sod it. i took it again. i got the link from m. this time around. i seem to recall that i was dinky the other time, too.

Which Winona Are You?

i've only seen this movie once. i remember that she took care of a bunch of stray animals, which of course i thought was brilliant, but it seemed like everyone needed to lay off dinky and just let her be dinky. i don't remember any lesbo thing, but then again it's been a long time since i've seen the film. i bet it was the "people often mistake me for a lesbian, but i'm really just a tomboy" choice that cemented it.

i need a vacation from my life.

wednesday was so awful. thankfully, things have been much calmer since. i realize that my account was ambiguous - i mean, it was purposely ambiguous. to better communicate how truly dreadful it was, however, i think it should suffice to say that someone nearly died. literally. 911 was called, and for quite a while, we had an ambulance, a fire truck, and 4 police cars parked in front of the house.

blah. this day can go to hell. technically i'm talking about yesterday, but since i haven't been to sleep yet, it's still 'today' to me. there's no doubt about it - my family is completely insane. of course i love them, but they are insane. i think my oldest brother had the right idea when he moved to japan. i would like to move around the world right now as well.

from A Day in the Life of CNN:

i know nothing about Rent, but she said that didn't matter.

Which Rent character are you?

*Take This Test!*

Take The Ice Cream Flavour Test!*

lately, abc has been playing a commercial for some barry manilow greatest hits cd way too often. nearly every time i watch politically incorrect, or anything on abc, here comes barry belting out the ballads. because of that commercial, though, i cannot get this out of my head.

received a message in my guestbook from someone who works tech support at roadrunner & i got a google hit for 'gobshite'. i tell you, it can't get much better than that.

i'm feeling guilty & a little sad for a dumb reason - to most people, anyway. there's been something living (or at least spending its nights) in my parents' attic for the past month or so. whenever i'd hear it moving around at night, i'd tell my mom about it the next day. she's heard it a couple of times herself. last night i heard it up there earlier than usual, so i got my flashlight and went to check it out. it was a rat, so i'm sure there's a whole colony around.

a remarkable thing happened this week that i haven't yet documented. on tuesday, i received my first bunny kiss. bunny kisses are quite rare, so i felt very special. zira is the cutest and sweetest and bestest bunny in the whole world.

roadrunner is all sucking. damn you roadrunner! damn you all to hell! the service has been quite spotty lately. i think i'm going to have to complain.

there was just an ad on bbc america for some crazy hair tool called quick braid. have you seen this thing? you're supposed to take strands of hair and put them in these little clip things on the end of it. then you push a button and it spins around to make a 'braid'. aren't braids supposed to have 3 pieces of hair? anyway, it looks like what it would more likely do is pull your hair out. i wouldn't let anyone near my head with that thing. but you can make 'funky hip hop braids' or 'crazy cool braids'. bollocks, i say.